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Basic LOA teaching tells us that if we want to manifest something into our lives, we must act as if that thing is in our lives already. This leads to the feeling of that thing being in our lives and causes us to be a match to that thing. Once we are a match to what we want, it must come into our lives. If it is not in our lives already, we are doing something wrong. We are holding on to some resistance and must let go of it in order to let our manifestations in. This seems simple enough in theory, but it is so frustrating and difficult to understand in practice. Many people get tired of the LOA and give up because they go through the motions of acting as if they have something and nothing changes. LOA teachers tell us that by focusing on the lack of the thing we are pushing it away. But how can I act as if something is there while simultaneously not noticing that it is not there? It’s enough to make you go crazy sometimes.

One of the things I had the hardest time with manifesting was a significant other. I tried your standard LOA techniques: meditation, visualization, affirmations, etc. I could see that my reality was shifting: I was finally meeting new people and going on dates for the first time in forever. But I wasn’t finding someone that I could have a long term commitment with. Acting as if I had the person in my life would often cause me to feel terrible. And I knew that wasn’t helping much.

Finally, I decided to take the “acting as if” technique and switch it around. I started acting as if I would never meet the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I started acting as if I would be single forever. And I started doing things that I had originally wanted to wait to do with a significant other. I started going to the movies, going to football games with friends and going out with friends more than I had before. I planned vacations with my friends that I had thought I would only want to go on with a significant other. When I did these things, I didn’t do them hoping someone would show up. I did them because they made me happy. By doing all these things it signaled to the Universe that I was a match to being happy and not a match to lack.

After a few months of focusing on being happy and not waiting for another person to give me permission to do the things I wanted to do, my significant other came into my life. Instead of continuing to be a match to not getting what I wanted, I became a match to someone who enjoyed doing the things I liked doing.

So, the next time you are trying to figure out how to “act as if” something in your life while simultaneously determining how to “let go” of what you want, always remember that feeling good is your main goal. And acting as if what you want will never happen and deciding to feel good anyway is a method that may work for you.